How I keep up with my home: Deep Clean Monday!

 

This week I shared some cleaning videos on my instagram stories, and ya'll went wild! 

I don't typically share a ton about cleaning because I don't ever want anyone to feel insecure about their level of cleanliness. I've definitely been that clueless newlywed (like, I grew up with a house keeper clueless. Like, don't ever ask my aunt about the time I tried to do my own laundry at sixteen and used bleach instead of detergent clueless), and I've been so depressed that cleaning was the last thing on my mind. I think we ALL have. 

But, it seems like there's an interest in cleaning things and I'm SO excited about that. I discovered my obsession with cleaning through my anxiety a few years ago and while the anxiety is gone (check out my post about my shen men piercing, it's life changing!) the love for clean, minimal and tidy spaces has remained. 

So let's jump into some super safe space come as you are cleaning chats! 

This week when I did a poll about what topics you all wanted to know more about my cleaning schedule was NUMERO UNO! Like, a surprising amount of comments. 

And I hope this isn't a letdown: but I kind of don't keep one. 

Stay with me! 

I tried every cleaning schedule and organized calendar around. Your girl does a LOT of cleaning blogs, tiktoks and video searchin'. Every cleaning schedule I tried either didn't stick or always left me feeling like something wasn't done. 

So I ditched them and haven't looked back. 

Instead, I gathered things from other bloggers and cleaning accounts that I appreciated and kind of made my own routine. The biggest and most important aspect of this routine is simple: 

DEEP CLEAN MONDAY! 

It's been lifechanging for me! I feel like my house is always clean (like, actual clean...there's plenty of toys and kids clothes laying about) and mostly always tidy. I love deep clean monday because it sets my week off to a totally fresh start and makes my home easier to maintain during the week. By spending time knocking everything out on Monday, I'm able to tidy up within minutes on any given day. No more mad dashes to pick up before people stop by. Well, when people used to stop by. In the before times. Quarantine, sigh. 

So what is it?

It's pretty much just what it sounds like! Every Monday I deep clean my house top to bottom. Think of it like a mini spring clean weekly. 
I know that sounds exhausting, but hear me out. The first week will take a while. You're cleaning spaces you probably haven't touched in a minute. But after that it's pretty quick and painless since you're keeping up on it every week! 

I usually grab a fiiz (so sorry if you're not in Utah, you're missing out!) and start first thing in the morning. I have a caddy that I load up with all of my cleaning supplies so I can carry them from room to room which makes it a lot easier. 

Since it's a rather large list I created a printable that you can download and print to keep track. It's my deep clean Monday master list. I put mine in a sheet protector so I can mark each item off with a dry erase marker. 

So what happens after deep clean Monday? Since everything has been deep cleaned at the start of the week it's pretty easy to keep on top of everything. There are a few things I do daily to make things easier, but mostly we have just gotten into the habit of cleaning as we go and putting things away when we're finished. 

As far as daily to do's it's pretty basic: 

Every morning I unload the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. Usually I do this while I'm making the kid's breakfast. 

The kids are in charge of their rooms and have a weekly zone to keep clean ie the play room. They usually do that in the afternoon before they can have screens. 

Every Monday I wash towels and every Saturday I wash bedding

Every Friday I clean out the fridge which isn't too daunting since it's done weekly

That's pretty much it! I much prefer having a busy Monday rather than spending hours cleaning every day. It's so nice to start the week off right and make the rest of the week a little more calm! 

Feel free to print my master list and follow me at @simplytaylorraye to find more cleaning discussions and tips! 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY MASTER LIST

"Mama"

A lot of you (like, a lot) will not know that I am a writer. It's something that used to be a huge part of my life but kind of got put on the back burner for a few years...because mental health. But, thanks to a lot of encouragement, I started writing again this year. I never share my writing before it's published (and this one has been submitted to a very niche literary magazine so we'll see what happens) but I had the urge to share it today. I'm rusty. Like you may need a tetanus shot rusty. Let's blame the quarantine. I think it just felt fitting given the current climate. 

We're all tired. 

We're stretched thin in so many directions without much certainty. It's hard. 

And while I'm all about girl power and overcoming it's okay to feel that hard too, live in it. 

I hope this helps some of you feel seen during the wild broken down roller coaster that is 2020. You're loved. 

Mama

“Mama! Mama!” Her tiny arms reached upward, demanding me to hold her. Such a simple thing. A simple insistence. In her haste to be comforted she is not concerned with anything else. She looks past my dark circled eyes and sagging shoulders. My hair is unwashed and wild. Bits and pieces sticking out of the hair tie I haphazardly placed days ago. The exhaustion radiates from inside of me but she doesn’t see it. She sees only her place of refuge as the fever that’s raged inside of her for days still burns. Her cheeks are red and warm so I give her another dose of medicine. My body sinks and I sigh. I am tired. 

It’s a different kind of tired. Not the tired that comes from endless loads of laundry or the things that keep me busy throughout the day. It’s not a trivial kind of tired. It’s a tired that I feel in my bones. In my limbs. It’s a tired that comes from sleepless nights when everyone else is quiet. Laying down in bed just to be woken again, for the umpteeth time, to care for someone else. A tired that comes after years of being a food source; always within reach and never dry. A tired that can only be felt after my body has been split open and healed over and over again. Sustaining life is tiring. 

Some days I can look beyond the exhaustion; pick up my dragging feet. Some days I can tickle and chase and feel whole. Other days though, I wallow in it. Achy and weary I take cover in my bed and let them fend for themselves; not quite feral but not cared for on a level they’re used to. Those days it’s all I can do to keep my mind from wandering. From wondering how I’m failing so miserably at this and  what I could be missing. So many experiences that will be left unlived; forgotten in a corner of my mind like old toys. Some days it almost feels like this will consume me; the duties never ending. There is always a need. Some days I go through the motions on auto-pilot and find no joy. And then the immense guilt sets in. I should appreciate it more. Children don’t last, they say. 

“Mama” again she’s at my feet reaching skyward. This time her voice is softer; less demanding. Her chubby fingers curl toward me and beckon me in. She feels heavy in my arms as her head sinks into my body. She is soft and warm. My breath slows to match hers and our chests rise and fall together. She’s always really been an extension of me. We move in unison, our bodies linked in a unique way that only they can be. I can feel the oxytocin rushing over me like a wave of relief. Her eyelashes  flutter against my collar bone. Fighting to stay open until they can’t anymore. Her fight is gone and she sinks into a comfortable sleep; her breaths heavy and slow. I lean down and kiss the crown of her head gently. I can smell her sweet sweat mixed with honey shampoo. I want to burn the smell of her into my brain. I want to force myself to memorize the weight of her body curled into my chest. The exhaustion still radiates, but it is a slower burn. I am where I want to be.

Minimizing Your Waste + Simple Ways To Start

If you've talked to me for more than five seconds you probably know I am ALL about that minimalism life. It eases my depression, it helps me get kids out of the house quick-ish and it's all around been a game changer for my home. 

Another aspect of minimalism that I don't talk about as often is minimizing waste. Yes, I know that's technically called zero waste..but my small amount of OCD won't let me say zero waste knowing that I will never truly produce zero waste...welcome to my brain! So, I try my best to minimize mine and my family's waste in really simple ways. It can seem SO daunting to make changes in this aspect of life (single use plastic is EVERYWHERE around us) but once you get started it's really not too bad! I want to share with you some of my favorite simple ways to reduce waste in your home.

#1: Most of these changes really focus on limiting your use of single use plastic. The first thing I did when trying to use less plastic was switch to bulk buying. Instead of heading to the grocery store and stocking up on bulk items that come in it's own packaging (think chocolate chips, flour, sugar, oats etc) we head to a local grocery store that offers these items in bulk! We're in Utah so we have Winco everywhere. They have a huge bulk section where you can buy lots of different food items without the packaging- and pro tip: it's usually cheaper this way! When you're not paying for the packaging you can minimize your grocery budget too. When we get home we put these items into mason jars which i actually really love to look at with our open shelving. I'm also all about those farmhouse vibes! 

#2: This brings us to the second swap. Great, you've found a store that offers lots of items in bulk...but don't you have to use plastic bags to weigh and buy them? NOPE! No. No. No. This is like one of the biggest grocery store lies out there. You don't have to use plastic bags! Not for produce, not for bulk items. Nope. My favorite swap we've done is...cloth produce bags! These were SO cheap to make (I actually just sewed them with my very basic skills from old dish towels and pillow cases) and save sooooo much plastic waste! I bring them with my reusable grocery bags and put in them whatever I would put in the plastic bags the store offers. And if you are just buying produce, you don't even NEED them. It's not mandatory to bag produce. Often times I'll just grab whatever I need and put it right into the cart. I promise that little plastic bag isn't keeping you from any germs, either. Produce gets handled a LOT before it gets in your hand. Wash well! 

#3: Reusable ziploc bags and pouches: This was another big one for us. With kids we use SO many plastic bags. Lunches, snacks on the go, bribes to not scream the entire time we're at the store...it's a lot. I simply went onto amazon, found a set of bags I liked and boom! No more waste. And again, you save so much money not buying them all the time! We also use a lot of single serve pouches. With Evie's bowel issues her snacks are typically pureed fruit or applesauce. Instead of paying a RIDICULOUS amount of money for individual pouches at the store, I bought these super cute reusable pouches and fill them myself. They're bigger, too! 

#4: Menstrual cup! I said it. Periods happen, it's life. But the amount of waste we make during that super fun week is insane. Like...insane. Menstrual cups last years and are actually a lot more convenient than tampons and pads. And since I am lucky and get two periods a months thanks to Evie...my diva cup is my best friend. 

#5: Steel alternatives! I've been using steel cups and water bottles for years to cut down on the need for plastic water bottles, but steel straws didn't cross my mind until last year. I picked up a set on Amazon that came with lots of straws, brushes and even a pouch to carry with me. I leave some at home and take 2-4 with me so I can use them at restaurants and events. Just remember that you used your own straw and don't forget it at your favorite hibachi grill...learn from my mistakes ;) 

#6: Cloth napkins were another DIY waste project I did and they were so easy! I picked out a flannel print I loved (avocados, duh) and a terry cloth material. I measured a napkin I already had and cut them to size and sewed them together. Super simple and so absorbent! We just use them however we'd use paper towels and they save us so much waste with small kids! 

That's it! Six easy ways to reduce the waste in your home. Once you make small changes it's easier to tackle the bigger things. Start small and make a huge impact! 

What are your favorite ways to reduce waste?

The Down And Dirty On Anxiety And The Shen Men Piercing

One of the most asked questions I get on my instagram is about my shen men piercing and how it's effected my anxiety. It's often too much for one insta post, so hopefully this helps! 

Sadly, mental illness is no stranger to me. It's something I've dealt with, and dealt with HARD, for a long time. My struggles seem to be never ending with mental health, but one thing that's taken the front seat (let's be honest, it's in the drivers seat most days) since becoming a mom is anxiety. 

As it turns out my biggest anxiety triggers are loud noises and mess...so you can imagine how well that's translated into the blessed journey of motherhood... not well. My middle daughter is basically a walking loud mess. So my anxiety has been at an all time high over the last couple of years. It was bad, ya'll. Like rage-momster style bad. I spent basically every single day overwhelmed with panic. I yelled. I rage cleaned. I had a constantly tight chest and tense body. It was just becoming so normal to me that it didn't even phase me. I could see myself acting out of anxiety, but I couldn't seem to step in and stop it. I remember crying on the phone to my sister once because after I vented to her about something that was just colossal to me she replied "there's literally nothing you can do...just don't worry about it" WHAT?! How can I not worry about it? How can I not fixate on something so intensely that it consumes me with worry and straight up panic? How is that even possible? It was a physical reaction that I had ZERO control over. I was having full blown panic attacks every day almost. It felt like I was having a heart attack and I was sure my heart would pound right out of my chest. I overthought every word I said or was said to me, I was sure everyone hated me and I dreaded any social gathering. 

It wasn't pretty, folks. 

As I've been more open with my struggle with anxiety I've come to realize a LOT of you also struggle. 

Last May I'd had enough. I haven't had the best luck with anxiety medication (we're all SO different, medication may be just what you need! I'm not advocating against meds. They're wonderful) and I didn't want to be on something long term. So I started looking into acupuncture piercings. I know so many people who've gotten daith piercings for migraines and had such amazing results...there had to be something for anxiety, too.

So I googled. I also remembered a friend who's dad is a doctor and acupuncturist. He said that he totally wasn't a believer until he started practicing it and saw people walk in totally fine and just break down in uncontrollable sobs as he hit different points. He told me about the shen men point which basically the most calming and relaxing ear point. Supposedly it could even help relieve anxiety. 

I was pretty skeptical but I had to try. I was beyond miserable. I did a lot of calling around and finally found a piercing artist who didn't act like I was crazy when I asked about the shen men. A lot of piercers have never even heard of it. I lucked out and found someone who'd had great success with daith piercings and had some experience with shen men as well. 

That May I got my shen men pierced. I opted for the rook piercing which keeps the barbell on one side of your ear. The shen men piercing goes from the front out of the back of the ear through the shen men point (think cartilage piercing) while the rook goes through the shen men point but keeps the barbell on one side. I liked the look of the rook more and I knew it would be annoying to sleep with a barbell poking into my head. 

Ya'll. I cannot believe it worked! I was SO skeptical. I was sure there was no way it would end up working. But as soon as he pushed the needle through that point it was like my whole body relaxed. A ball of stress in my chest melted and I 'd had no idea that I had felt so tense. I was on a high. I went home feeling relieved, but skeptical. Surely it was just placebo and endorphins and it wouldn't last.

It's now been five months since I got my piercing. It's been life changing. I can honestly say I haven't had true anxiety since May. I've worried. I've fretted. I've not felt tight and tense. I've not felt like I was having a heart attack or obsessed over things I can't control until they've consumed me. It's so crazy. I fully understand now how people could say things like let it go. My brain couldn't even comprehend doing that before and now it's so easy. And I've had so many things come up that would typically send me into an anxiety spiral (like insane health problems with my youngest. That whole situation would have KILLED me before my piercing). I'm more patient. I'm less quick to anger. I'm able to see what I can control and what I can't and not let those things I can't consume me. It's amazing. I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I'm happier and more productive. I'm a nicer mom. 

So, here's the answers to the most common questions I get about it: 

1. Did it hurt? Not really. I used to have a fair amount of piercings so I may not be the best judge but it's really just a few seconds of burning and then it's over. Cartilage tends to be slower to heal than other piercings so it does stay sore for a little while (I slept on the other side of my head for a month or so) but it's really not bad. 

2. Is it hard to care for? Nope! Super easy. Some piercers can be outdated though, so be careful of that. Do NOT turn it or move it. It's important for it to stay still so it can heal properly and keep infections out. Don't touch it! DO NOT wash it with soaps and the like. Go to walgreens or CVS and get saline wound wash. Spray it twice a day. That's it! Keep that up for six weeks and it'll heal great! 

3. How much does it cost? It really depends on where you're at. $45-50 seems to be average. If you're local to Utah I highly highly recommend Travis at Deja Vu in the Ogden Newgate Mall. He's so knowledgeable and clean. 

4. How do I make sure it's the right spot? Finding someone who knows about acupuncture helps a ton. Some piercers will have you come in with anxiety so they can use needles or ear seeds to make sure it's the right spot. If you find someone you trust you'll be good! 

Talk about it! Talking about mental health is so important. Share your struggles and successes and what you've tried. It's so helpful to those dealing with mental illness and to those trying to support them. 

Have you tried the shen men piercing? How has your experience been?

Five Tips For Traveling With Kids Solo

Living away from family is so hard. I can go a pretty long time being homesick and missing my family but soon enough it gets to be too much and I cave and do something crazy. 

Like fly home alone with two toddlers kind of crazy. It wasn't really an option to me. I missed my family, my cute cousin was getting married and I had to be there. So i googled. And panicked. And fretted. 

I was so anxious to fly alone with both of my kids and google wasn't all that helpful in finding ways to manage it with a semblance of sanity. So now that I'm out on the other side I wanted to share a few traveling tips in the hopes that someone down the road will read this and feel a little less scared. 

So, here we go! 

1. Pack Early: This one is huge for me. I think the most stressful thing about traveling with kids, especially tiny just out of the baby stage kids, is packing. Kids need SO MANY THINGS! A billion outfits, multiple pairs of shoes, toys galore, that random thing they found in the backseat that they're now incredibly attached to, food, ALL THE THINGS, GUYS! So to make this whole process easier I decided to start packing three days before we left. Yeah, three days. I know that seems excessive but it was so heavenly! I was able to pack carry-on's and suitcases with ample time to make sure I got everything we would need. I even made lists of things to pack and marked them off as I put them into their case- it took away so much stress! By the morning we left I knew I had everything we would need and didn't have to rush around making sure i didn't forget anything. 
2. Throw all food related rules out the window: I'm pretty intense about what my kids eat. Their meals are usually healthy and we don't even buy junky snacks. I can't handle sugared up kids, so it's for my own sanity really. But when we travel the granola and the organic animal crackers go out the window with any rules I have about their diets. Fruit snacks? Sure, bring a whole box. Suckers? Have ten! I. Do. Not. Care. I want my sanity and everyone who's stuck on the flying metal tube with us for hours on end in tact. So we always buy a handful of snacks that we never do normally so they're exciting and new. Food goes a long way to keep kids quiet and happy. We do bring some of our normal snackage, too but if they only eat those paw patrol fruit snacks for the hour we're on the plane, I'm totally fine with that. Bribe, bribe, bribe. 
3. Tablets are your bestie: Luckily Thatcher is old enough to want to watch TV all the time. Normally this is kind of annoying because I have to constantly explain WHY we can't be in front of the TV 24 hours a day but when we're traveling I thank the tiny toddler tv gods that he's willing to watch PJ Masks for two hours. We bring noise cancelling headphones and let him have as much screen time as he needs to prevent any wild tantrums. Being stuck in a plane seat is so hard for littles, a little screen time is really a tender mercy for them. 
4. Lean on others: I am not the type to lean on other people. I'm a grin and bear it, get things done and manage by myself type. Even accepting help from my husband is so hard for me. I hate being a burden. One of the best things I've learned with travelling with toddlers is that other people want to help lift your burden, and it feels so great to let them. There were numerous times on our trip that I was stuck in an airport and dropped something, or couldn't carry my bags and the sleeping toddlers, or just needed someone else to be mom for a second so I could catch my breath. Letting those who offered help made it all so much less stressful once I accepted that it was okay to need help. When we were on a layover in Pheonix there was even an adorable older man in a wheelchair who my daughter became infatuated with. At first I was stressed that she kept going over to this old man and demanding attention, but he quickly saw a need and played with my kids for almost the entire layover so I could sit for a while. By the time we boarded the plane Ona was on his lap playing patty cake and I felt much less strapped of my attention. Helpful strangers are miracles when traveling alone with kids. 
5. Don't let the stress get to you: I know this is so much easier said than done but kids are SO perceptive of their parents emotions. I had to remind myself constantly that if I kept a happy attitude my kids likely would too. I turned every bathroom trip and takeoff into a game and it kept them excited and engaged. Of course we had our meltdowns, upsets and moments of tears but overall because I kept a happier tude my kids did too. I think that helped the absolute most.

Doing these things made my trip so much easier. As easy as traveling with kids can be, anyway. And the memories we got to have together and with my family is so worth dragging a kicking toddler through security. But excuse me while I don't travel alone with them for a couple years to recover. ;)

   XO

I Have Been Given Life

Can I get sappy for a minute? 

Thanks. 

We often talk about having children in terms of "giving life."

Mothers are often hailed as almost goddesses in our ability to create and shape people. 

Which I love. 

I absolutely love the ability that I have been blessed with to carry and birth these tiny little humans. Adore it. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not grateful for it.

But I feel like I'm being short-changing them if I don't get real and give them some of the credit, too. 

I may have made them, and I may be raising them, but I have been given life by these babes. I know saying that my children are my life often brings some discontent among more feminist females than I, but I am a mother. That's who I was always meant to be. Having babies and spending all of my time and effort raising those babies is my calling. I get that it's not that way for everyone. I get that some moms need time away or need a break or need something else driving them in life-- and I think that's equally beautiful and worthy. But I, to my core, am a mama. 

But that's the absolutely beautiful thing about the fact that my children have given me life just as much as I've given them theirs--it's true for every single mom out there. Working, Stay-at-home, has a nanny...it doesn't matter. This phrase connects us all because we have all felt it. 

My life is so different because of my children. Daily they teach me things that I never would have learned had it not been for them. Daily I am re-evaluating myself and changing things to become better. To become more. 

They've given me patience to stop and think rationally before I act. 

They've given me resolve to think critically and from a hundred different angles to solve a tantrum or find a solution for a problem. 

They've given me the understanding of how important it is to slow down in life and live in the moment. To appreciate that moment. 

They've given me understanding and forgiveness. 

I may have given them life. I may have brought them into this world and witnessed their first breaths but in so many more ways than I can describe they have truly given me the most useful skills and the best understanding of life. 

Does that mean that I'm always quick to hug and slow to yell? No. Of course not. My toddler is pushing every single boundary imaginable. Generally this is happening at the same time his sister is crying in my arms. It is exhausting. It is trying and it is hard. But it is beautiful and rewarding.

But that means that even on the hardest days, even when I feel like I just can't solve a single problem or navigate a single melt-down,  they give me the love and passion and will to try again. And when I have a bad day, when I go to bed regretting a word or an action, they give me a new day with a new chance to be better. 

Today I Chose Happiness

Today my toddler was grumpy. A two year old, grumpy? I know, it's insane. But he was. Not just a little grumpy. He was all out tantruming, hitting, kicking, scary grumpy. 

His 2.5 week old sister is gassy and cluster feeding which makes a grumpy toddler much more fun than usual. YSo after an intense cuddling session I unloaded my plan. "Wanna watch a show?" was of course met with an enthusiastic "yeah!" and ended all tears. 

Until he couldn't decide which show to watch. Cue meltdown. Somehow, as only toddlers can manage, this turned into an all out fight. Which turned into lots of awesome toddler screaming. All moms love being screamed at, right? And that folks, led to a declaration. "Okay! No shows today." What did I just say?! Holding my ground often means my plans of an "easy day" go out the window. 

I was exasperated. I was exhausted. I was feeling the anger well up inside of me and I was so close to tears myself. 

And I made a choice. 

Instead of giving in and getting mad, and frustrated and short--I chose to still make today happy. 

Which is so so hard for me. When I get mad, I'm mad. It's really hard for me to change that frame of mind. This often leads to me being short and distant with whoever it is that gets me to that point. 

So I decided to get over it. To free myself of feeling that anger (which as soon as that sweet little tantruming toddlers head rests on his pillow tonight will surely have turned to mom guilt) and try to salvage the day for the three of us. 

Instead of being short and distant I decided to be loving. 

Instead of losing my temper (which I like to think happens to us all) I chose to keep my cool. 

Instead of sticking him in his room and crying we broke out the Nemo bath toys he picked out last night at target. While the baby napped we played in the bath, blew bubbles and danced. 

And you know what? I wasn't angry anymore. 

I wasn't frustrated. I wasn't close to tears or wishing for bedtime. 

As we looked at and named all of the Finding Dory characters on the bathtub tile for the millionth time I felt that familiar heaviness in my heart. I felt the love for this difficult stubborn little boy swell. And I smiled. 

By making one small choice to choose happiness we both were able to make what could have been an exhausting and downright crummy night into something good. Something fun. 

It's hard sometimes. I feel like being a mom means giving up your right to be upset or frustrated. And it does. There is definitely a time to feel those things--but sometimes it also isn't. Sometimes that human reaction robs us of these otherwise perfect moments.  

I'm far from perfect. I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time. Tomorrow maybe I'll yell. Tomorrow maybe I'll give in and feel defeated.

But today I chose happiness. Maybe I did a whole "fake it till you make it" thing--but it worked. ❤️

 
 

natural birth...ouch!

Let me start by saying I LOVED my epidural with Thatcher. Seriously, it was great. That little button you get to push? A thing of beauty. That being said, after I had thatcher I never felt like I had experienced labor. I didn't truly felt like I'd been an active participant in my birth. 

So as soon as I found out I was pregnant with Olivia I decided I wanted the whole experience this time. I spent months reading countless birth stories and experiences, books, breathing techniques and blogs. I was so prepared. I had this! Easy peasy. 

HAHHAHA. oh, sorry. 

On the morning of July 15th we got to the hospital at 545 in the morning. Id been having contractions basically all night and hadn't slept more than a few hours. Some of that was probably due to the fact that I knew I'd be spending the day away from thatcher soon which made me anxious and sad. 

After getting hooked up to the monitors I was told my contractions were already coming every 3-4 minutes. We decided to stay and walk around the hospital and wait for Dr. Bierer to come. I was still contracting around 8:30 or so when he arrived so I had him break my water to speed things up. He broke my water and then together he and Jeff gave me a priesthood blessing, which was amazing. I'm so grateful to have a husband and a doctor who are able to give me that comfort and strength in a time of serious need.

After my water was broken I labored on my own for about 2-2.5 hours. While still consistent my contractions weren't getting too much closer together so we decided to do just a bit of pitocin to get my body in a 2 minute pattern. 

People aren't kidding when they say pitocin is ROUGH. Being hooked up to the iv and monitors was so hard. I wanted to walk and move and get in the bath, but I couldn't which made those contractions come crashing down all the harder. I had been breathing through them and really using and appreciating my birth affirmations up until this point but it started to get pretty painful. My labor wasn't in my back like I'd expected, it was in my front. Almost like I had to pee SO SO SO badly every time. There wasn't much massaging or rubbing I could do to help it because it was right where she was. So, I screamed. BOY, did I scream. Loudly. Incoherently. Unabashed screaming. My sweet friend Jessica was there and while Jeff massaged my back and shoulders, swayed and rocked with me and wet my face with a wash cloth she cheered me on and offered different positions that may help. 

In my agony I shot down every wonderful suggestion she had. I. Was. Miserable. 

But my goal was the bath. I really really wanted that bath. I'd heard wonderful magical things about laboring in water. I needed the water. After I made it through the worst of the pitocin contractions, I still had to stay hooked up to the monitor for thirty agonizing minutes. It was torture and I begged, earnestly now, for drugs. 

Finally I was able to get in the bath. Before I got in my delivery nurse said, "if you feel like you have to push or poop at all you CANNOT get in the bath!" Of course I didn't, i said. 

I lied. I lied so badly. BUT GUYS! I earned that freaking bath! I was only at 5 cm dilated anyway, so I had time. 

Haha! Time. Right. 

So I got into my bath, which did help a lot. I still screamed loudly during my contractions, but it was more tolerable. I think I only had about 2 contractions in the bath. Then, I started to push. I can't describe it, but I really felt strongly that I needed to push. I couldn't even think about what it meant, I just had to. I told Jessica weakly and at first she thought I was mistaken. No way, I'm only at a five. Then I must have said it more urgently because she ran to call the nurses in. 

They knew baby would be coming soon so they'd began to set up the delivery things. Jeff and Jessica cheered me on and assured me that we were so close--look at all the delivery prep! I got into bed and my nurse checked me again. At this point my contractions were peaking--I was so so so done. I looked Jeff in the eyes and again BEGGED for that epidural. I did NOT want to do this. WHY was I doing this?! I was at 8 cm now and though they said I could have the epidural (which Jeff realized I was so serious about and actually asked them for it, too) they said it wouldn't kick in. I was close. In my mind I'm thinking "well I'm not paying for it not to work. Screw it, I'm dying anyway." I'm a little dramatic. So, we decided no epidural. 

Suddenly, the urge to push was completely and totally overwhelming. While I was in fact pushing i wasn't in control--my body was pushing that baby out regardless. I screamed that she was coming and the nurses scrambled around. Some finishing up delivery prep, some calling for my doctor, and my delivery nurse checking me. In the few minutes I asked for the epidural I had reached 10 cm. the nurses screamed for me to stop pushing but I really couldn't. It went against everything my body was doing. 

I should point out though that at this point I had no idea that my baby was being born. They kept telling me not to push and I kept yelling at them, "IM JUST POOPING! Let me poop!" Which I believed. Until Jessica and my nurse got inches from my face and said "Taylor. That's your baby's head. Stop!" So I guess if I had to equate child birth to anything, it's the #2. 😉

Also, any fear I had of pooping in labor was out the window in that moment that o literally thought I was. 

Okay, proceed. 

They called my doctor again, called the on call doctor and the charge nurse. I remember hearing my nurse saying that she didn't feel comfortable delivering the baby and I had to wait. Uh- yeah right. So while I'm pushing and screaming (I was literally screaming "get out" at the top of my lungs) my delivery nurse pushed Olivia's head back in. BACK INTO MY BODY! Which freaking hurt because, hello, not how that's supposed to happen. Two times Olivia's head was born and two times the nurse held her back in. 

Finally the on call doctor sauntered in. He literally sauntered, slowly, into the room and proceeded to make small talk with me. I snapped "I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU" while the nurse yelled that he didn't have time and she was coming. He rushed to get a gown and gloves on while I continued to push. He barely caught Olivia. My legs weren't even in the stirrups, she just came out on the bed and he cut the cord. Which really upset me too because we'd opted for delayed cord clamping but I figured since it was kind of a rushed situation what could you do. As soon as the cord was cut my doctor walked in and finished up. 

From the time I got out of the bath and into bed to the time she was totally born was TWO MINUTES. Which probably would have been more like 30 seconds had they not kept her from coming out. I didn't realize it was even that fast until I watched the video that Jessica took. 

It was so intense and fast and insane. And while I was pretty miserable during transition, I'm so glad that Jeff and Jessica kept me on track and didn't let me get the epidural. I'm not sure yet if it's an experience that I'll have again, but it's an experience I'm so grateful to have had. 

I have so much respect for birth. Natural, C-section, epidural. It's all so amazing that were able to house and birth these tiny humans. Our bodies are seriously perfect.

And now almost two weeks later were so in love with our Olivia Ona. She's a sweet, mild girl who eats ferociously and snuggles perfectly. 

Her name makes her even more special to us, too. Ona comes from Jeffs grandmother who is one of the strongest, most intelligent and caring women I've been blessed to know. We can only hope that our little Ona will be like her namesake. 

 

 

 

Just a Mom

Something happened to me the other day. It's something that's happened a handful of times in the last two years and it feels like it's time to speak up. 

I recently reconnected with an old friend. After catching up a bit and talking about life he asked if I was super successful like he'd thought I'd be when we were younger. After hearing that I quit college to stay at home with my kids he said, "so wait.. you're just a mom?" I have to admit, it stung. Even though it's not the first time that someone who isn't caught up with my current life has made a comment indicating that I have "given up" what could have been a great career or "let myself quit" school, which I was actually pretty good at, it still hurt. 

I am not "just a mom." I have not "given up" anything. In fact, the way I see it I've gained a great deal more.

"Just a mom" seriously implies that what I'm doing isn't enough, important or valued. "Just a mom" means that I've somehow lowered my standards or my ambition and settled for something not as worthy. In reality, isn't being "just a mom" more than that? I'm not just cleaning up spills and building block towers. I'm not just kissing knees and washing diapers. I'm choosing to put aside most of my previous identity, my time, my sleep, and every bit of me to raise another human who will (hopefully) become a productive and moral adult.

And in my eyes, I haven't "given up" all that much in the process. 

I've gained more patience, more love, and more of an understanding of sacrifice than I could have ever imagined. I've learned so many things outside the realm of academic knowledge and I've been given the gift of time with my babies. 

School is wonderful. It's great--but it isn't for everyone. I'm extremely proud to be a mother. I'm happier not having my degree than I can even explain- and in the process I've found things I'm truly truly passionate about.

My life is more than "just a mom." 

Peek inside of my Jujube BFF

I've had a lot of questions and comments on my diaper bag. I guess Petunia Picklebottom is pretty popular in Utah, so it's not as common to see a jujube? I'm not sure, but I thought I'd just blog about my bag instead of answering multiple questions.

This is my diaper bag fully packed for one baby. We're having another baby in July, but it'll basically be the same things give or take a couple items. 

The front pocket, or the "mommy pocket", has things for me. Usually it's: wallet, keys, hair ties, hand sanitizer, chapstick, pen & glasses. I usually have a ton of room left over. 

This is the main inside pocket packed. 

It always amazes me how much it holds. I have: 

Day planner, 2 Thatcher books, a mama book, bib, burp cloth (to wipe runny noses), tiny book of mormon, 4 or 5 cars, a spatula (aka best toy ever), Han solo riding a tauntaun, mummy toy, usually 4 or 5 snacks (which generally I keep packed in a breastmilk storage zipper bag inside the bag but it's in the wash), changing pad (has its own pocket on the back of the bag), 2 cloth diapers, wetbag (bag you put dirty diapers in while out and about), 2 or 3 cloth wipes, homemade bum cream and tissues. 

Usually a sippy cup is in the side pocket. I still have lots of room for more diapers, cloth breastpads etc when we have two. 

I seriously love this bag! It's so roomy, never feels over packed or too heavy and I love that it can be a backpack or messenger bag. Basically you all need a jujube! 

:) 

Why Cloth ROCKS!

It really surprises me that we didn't cloth diaper Thatcher from the beginning. Before I had him I had always talked about cloth diapering and knew it was something I liked, but when you're at the hospital and they give you free diapers and you have people graciously buying you box after box of diapers (seriously, you all rock, we had free diapers for almost a year!) it is just kind of assumed you'll use disposables. 

We decided (okay, I decided) to start cloth diapering when Thatcher was younger, probably around 9 months or so. But then his perianal abcess came around and we didn't know how long he'd have it, how to deal with it and didn't want to change any of our routine in case it came back. Plus, there was the whole fact that I'd decided on pocket style diapers and they have a bigger start up cost, and you know the whole poop issue. 

Yes, the poop issue. The first thing most people think about when you tell them you cloth diaper. What about the poop? It scared me, and forking out a few hundred in diapers and supplies scared my hubby, even if we were saving money in the long run. 

So we waited. 

Until last week. I made an AMAZING discovery. The all-in-two system of cloth diapering. I could seriously hear a chorus of hallelujah angels in my mind as i gobbled up every bit of information I could online about these blessed diapers. And so, at three in the morning, I decided we were going to make the switch. 

Now, we're three days (and one explosive poop- ew!) in and I AM IN SO MUCH LOVE. It may be premature, but I thought I'd write a little about why I'm completely obsessed with cloth diapers now-a-days. 

The Cost

Obviously, cloth diapers are cheaper. Every month we had to buy a 20-30 dollar box of diapers on top of 10-15 dollar wipes, I cringed. Seriously shuddered. We hated the fact that we were spending hard earned money on something that was literally a portable toilet for our baby. Something we threw away to fill the landfill (more on that later). 

Like I said, we were very turned onto cloth diapering by the all in two system. Upon further research however I discovered an even cheaper option: prefolds and covers. This is the only style we've used, but it is so unbelievably cost-effective! Seriously, we bought 7 covers and 22 prefolds and we're set to cloth diaper full time doing laundry only every three or four days for SIXTY DOLLARS. That's it. We ordered a few more supplies (wetbags and detergent) that we could have easily done without and we're set. No more buying diapers every month, no more throwing money down the diaper genie. 

The Environment

I've always been cautious of my impact on the earth. I want to leave a beautiful place for my kids and their families, so it's important to me to make changes where I can to reduce my imprint. In the US on average per year 27.4 BILLION diapers are used and tossed into landfills. Our country spends 7 BILLION dollars a year on diapers that are thrown away and it takes 200 to 500 years for a diaper to decompose. That's a huge impact, and when I think about the vast number of diapers we used in the first 15 months on Thatcher it makes me ill. Our cloth diapers however can be washed, re-washed, sunned and stripped for years and last us a few kids since they're made to fit from 8-35 pounds. That's a lot of waste eliminated! 

The "Squee" Factor

Hello? Have you SEEN an adorable fluffy bum? The size alone is adorable but the prints they make now days are TO DIE FOR. Harry Potter, Star Wars, Cat in The Hat, Dragon Scales, the list goes on and on and on. Seriously, if you can imagine it there's probably a diaper cover for it. And I LOVE it. I have a list seriously 30 plus long of diapers I'm dying to buy. They're dang cute, and that's a factor for me! 

Comfort/Guilt

I never noticed how disposables feel like paper. And while maybe it isn't uncomfortable if that's all a bum knows, wouldn't it feel much better to be covered in natural materials like hemp, cotton or bamboo? I feel way better putting soft yummy smelling cotton against Thatcher's little bum than I did the disposable diapers. It just feels right! 

These are just a few things that I've noticed in the last few days we've done cloth. There's a big misconception out there that they're more difficult to use and harder to get clean, but that just isn't so. I spend maybe 5 seconds more per diaper change and washing is a breeze thanks to websites like fluff love university and local cloth groups. We've had numerous changes, poops (even explosions which are rare) and have done our first load of diaper laundry and I think it's very very safe to say that while it may not work for everyone, it's definitely the life for us! 

Now to wait "patiently" by the mailbox for our first fluff mail to arrive so I can squee over our cute new covers! :-)

Hi, I'm Taylor and I Breastfeed.

Whew, I'm glad we got that out there. Lately it feels like you almost have to whisper that fact as to not offend anyone or have unwanted advice thrown at you, and that's not fair. 

Thatcher and I had the opportunity to attend the Big Latch On last year. It was such a fun thing to be a part of a world record while raising awareness for breastfeeding and normalizing it in public. I even met some really cool mama's that share a lot of my own interests.

Next month there will be another Latch On and I'm really excited to go with another little nursling. But it also makes me remember the pain it caused last year as well. 

 At first, I was overwhelmed by the amount of negative or non-understanding comments about a picture that showed less than a bikini. Just as a disclaimer I will NEVER EVER get angry or offended that you believe differently than me.. on anything. Seriously, we may not agree but I think that some things work for some people that may not work for others; to each their own. So I hope that my discussions with breastfeeding never get taken that way. I will however, try to educate because it's an issue that is close to my heart and so important to many mothers and dads out there. When the negativity came raining down I cried a lot, which isn't like me. I have pretty tough skin. It wasn't because I was hurt or because people were disagreeing or criticizing my choice to feed my baby in public. It was because it was all at once. It was like standing in a room and being shouted at by ten different people and not being able to say anything to my defense. It was a little paralyzing. 

But just when the negative comments and messages (and not all were negative, some were simply curious) were becoming too much I received almost as many positive ones. I received messages from a handful of friends and acquaintances who are currently expecting and a handful from some who have babies. The former expressed their gratitude to my desire to educate people on breastfeeding and my desire to make it normal in any setting. Some said that they didn't plan on breastfeeding because they knew it could be isolating and made harder by others because they knew they would be judged or lectured, but because of my passion and love for it they wanted to try. The latter expressed thanks that I was brave enough to do something that they felt they couldn't do without dealing with negative consequences. 

And then I remembered that's why I do it. That's what this is all about. If I can help one woman to overcome that fear of being criticized to feed her precious baby however she wants (whether it be in public, private, a car, a store, covered or uncovered) my goal is accomplished. We need to remember that we are a sisterhood of mothers and that our choices can impact others more than we realize. 

So to clear things up, this is why I choose to breastfeed in public without a blanket. 

Because Thatcher hates having a blanket over his face. He was a summer newborn and got in the habit of pushing away a blanket early on because it was HOT! And I don't blame him! 

Because breastfeeding isn't sexual and it's not necessarily intimate for everyone. While you can feel strong emotions of love and adoration while breastfeeding when it comes down to it milk is milk and babies need to eat. I will not be held responsible for other's sexualization of something.  

Because I used to breastfeed in private and it was the most isolating feeling I've known. Sitting for an hour at a time (and even now for minutes) while others are out enjoying company of each other is a bummer. 

Because I've met so many women who give up because of lack of resources or information and don't trust their bodies when in reality they were doing everything perfectly. 

Because I've met so many women who have given up breastfeeding purely because someone disapproved or shamed them in public. 

Because feeding my baby should be so normal that others don't even notice or bat an eye-- it shouldn't cause an uproar. Businesses should accept a mother nourishing her child in any way so long as she's doing it safely. 

Because for us, it's right. 

I believe that every parent and child are different. And that's why mother's should be able to feed however they please and not be shamed. Breastfeeding is hands down my favorite thing about being a mother. It's the greatest ability that God has blessed me with, and I will fight for the right of those who choose to do it publicly however they feel comfortable. 

Mothers already have a tough job with long hours and little time to socialize with others. Imagine how amazing it could be if we stood with each other instead of tearing each other down. 

"How's He Sleeping?": Why You Should Stop Asking That Question & Our Gentle Sleep Experience

There are a lot of "stereotypical" questions that get asked when you become a parent. It's like there's an unwritten list of things to ask new parents upon seeing their little one, and at the top of that list is usually "How do they sleep?"

This is frustrating for a few reasons. Firstly, a lot of new parents don't expect their newborns or young babes to sleep through the night or to sleep well at all for that matter. So when we begin bombarding them with questions about sleep habits, routines and the overall soundness of their sleep it can really make them doubt something that shouldn't be doubted in the first place. Secondly, these questions are frustrating to new parents because they're usually followed by advice or comparisons to babies that sleep "better" without taking into consideration that A. All babies are different and B. Situations in the home are different. 

When Thatcher was first born I woke him up every two hours on the dot to eat. This was very early in our breastfeeding relationship and I wasn't feeding on demand during the nights yet. I wanted my milk established, even if it meant giving up a few night time hours. After we stopped doing this a month or two in he would give us good five hour stretches--it was great! Then we hit four months. He was cluster feeding more and more and ended up in bed with us a lot of nights. We were exhausted. From that point out he woke every couple of hours to feed barring a couple nights here and there where he'd give us a good stretch. It made me very self conscious when people would ask how he was sleeping because I didn't feel like we had a problem. Weren't babies supposed to feed a lot at night? Wasn't this pretty normal? 

It's pretty obvious that we are anti CIO (Cry It Out method of sleep training made popular by Dr. Ferber). To me personally there is nothing that a newborn or baby under 12 months really learns from being left alone at night to "self soothe" and work things out on his own. I've always firmly believed that I was a parent 24 hours a day and not just during the daytime. I also believe that all babies and kids are different (they're people, I think we sometimes forget this!) and that they hit milestones at different times. Sleep is a milestone. It's something that baby will do when they're developmentally ready. Just like I wouldn't force Thatcher to crawl or try solids before he was ready I wouldn't expect him to sleep through the night any sooner than he was ready either. So, we continued our routine of nursing to sleep, night waking to nurse often and having no tears nights. (Again, this is us personally..no judgement if you've done CIO, every baby is different!)

When Thatcher turned one I began to notice that he was telling me he was ready for better sleep and a different routine. Jeff and I were exhausted too, and wanted our bed back for more than a few hours a night. Thatcher was becoming increasingly grumpy during the days and at night when we'd usually nurse until he drifted off to sleep he began to eat then push me away before falling asleep in my arms. What I took away from these cues is that he wasn't getting enough rest at night and that he didn't really care to be nursed to sleep anymore. It seemed like when he woke at night he really wanted to get back to sleep on his own, but grudgingly took the breast for a few minutes when he couldn't do it on his own. 

We had to do something. I felt awful that I let him go so long getting poor sleep and felt determined to do a better job for him. 

Like any 21st century mom I scoured the internet for ways to help him get to sleep and stay asleep better. 

I was overwhelmed with the amount of CIO posts and Ferber posts that I couldn't even finish my search. I knew there had to be a gentler way to approach sleep that still helped him transition. I also started to realize that there are two types of babies; those who benefit from crying for a minute or two and fall asleep, and those who got more worked up from crying and became more awake. Guess which one Thatcher was! 

This was our plan: 

1. No night nursing unless he's gone 5-6 hours before waking up. At 12 months I noticed that the majority of the time he nursed at night it wasn't hunger nursing. He could comfortably go this amount of time without nursing, especially since he nursed on demand all day. I hoped this would help him learn that he needed to sleep a little longer before getting milk. 
2. Alternate comforting. I realized to my horror that I had never ever given Thatcher the chance to be soothed in ANY other way besides nursing. Of course that's what he needed at night. He'd never gotten used to being rocked to sleep, or sang to sleep, or anything besides nursing. It's just so much faster and easier! Until it becomes a habit five times a night. I decided to begin by nursing him until he was drowsy. As soon as his eyes would shut I would unlatch him and rock him in my arms. After a moment or two of rocking (usually however long it took for him to stop crying because he'd been unlatched) I would lay him in his crib. This is when the HUGE freakout would start. He'd never been laid down awake, ever. I would lean over and shush him while i put a hand on his back or belly or rubbed his leg. If he really kept freaking out then I would pick him up and start over at the rocking.

The first few nights were rough. Really, really rough. But after a week, he didn't fight it anymore. I also introduced a flat pillow, which I think helped a lot. Soon, he would nurse until he was drowsy and I didn't have to rock him in my arms. I could just lay him in bed, shush him for a minute or two and he'd curl up to his pillow and drift off. For the first time in his life I saw him stare at the ceiling and slowly close his eyes to sleep, and it was precious!
In two week's time we went from taking an hour and a half to two hours to put him to sleep then sneaking tip-toed out of the room to twenty minutes on a bad night. We went from waking every couple of hours to waking every 5-8. And even when he did have a bad night and wake before our 5-6 hour timeframe I'd pick him up, put him back in bed and shush him back to sleep in a matter of minutes instead of spending an hour a couple times a night in his room! It was heaven!

It's now been almost 3 months of doing this method. He has his rough nights when he's sick, teething or travelling but he's for the most part consistently giving us six to eight hour stretches of sleep with only one wake up at the most. Lately he's been teething which means sleeping six hours, waking up to nurse then sleeping another two and sometimes needing to nurse again in the morning, but we're all so much happier with the change that's taken place. We even had him night weaned before we left on a vacation that didn't allow us to keep that routine, but now we know it's possible.

I think my biggest advice to those of you seeking a better night's sleep is this; don't force it. Follow your child's cues and they will let you know when they're ready to hit that milestone, but it will happen. Keep heart and remember these moments are fleeting, before we know it they won't need us at night and we'll miss them.

Good luck and happy sleeping!

<3 

A Look at Our Week

For some reason I've gotten a lot of messages lately asking about our daily routine. I don't feel like we're doing anything wonderful or special by any means, but we've finally found something that seems to be working well, so I thought I'd share. 

Generally Thatcher wakes up anywhere from 6:30 to 7:30. He's been sleeping pretty well through the night now and usually gives us a six to eight hour stretch, so I don't get too horribly grumpy at the thought of being up so early (Translation: I fall asleep in the floor of the baby-proofed playroom while he entertains himself). Usually he plays with Da in the morning while I make breakfast and get things ready to get Jeff out the door. After Daddy is gone we almost ALWAYS do some independent play before naptime so I have a chance to get ready and have some mama time. And apart from cleaning up after meals or things that we do right away to keep the house tidy, I usually only clean while Thatcher is napping, so when he's awake we can do things together. 

That's always the same. I've found out the hard way, though that Thatcher I and both thrive off of routine. I'm a very organized person by nature, so I'm a little embarrassed it took me this long to incorporate it into our weekly routine. But finally we have, and it works!

Monday: On Monday I wash and hang dry (yes, we use a clothesline! Gasp! How old-fashioned!) our laundry from the week. In the morning while Thatcher is playing I plan out our week and round up any errands and things that need to be done. Monday is also one of Jeff's days off, which we take pretty seriously. We try to spend the whole day being together and doing fun things. Monday is also when we set our goal of what we want Thatcher to learn that week (ie: body part, new sign language, etc). 

Tuesday: Tuesday is spent folding laundry and putting it away along with our usual chores. We stay home almost all day and get the things around the house done. We also go to our local library for story and discovery time each Tuesday, which is just down the street and gives Thatcher a chance to interact with other littles and see new things. Tuesday is also our arts and crafts day, so we aim for all of our activities to have some sort of artsy theme.  Usually we do one or two activities which last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour depending on little Thatch's mood. We do painting, sidewalk chalk, crafts, coloring, and anything else we can think of. Thatcher wasn't a huge fan of getting down and dirty with art projects in the beginning but he's really warmed up to it. Usually I hang up whatever he did that day and when it's dry I show him and I swear that baby feels pride. His smile is just heart-melting. We generally end each day with Thatcher helping make dinner. 

Wednesday: This is our errand day. We're usually out running errands in between naps, so Thatcher gets to get out and wave at everyone and be worn a lot. This is supposedly the day I have set aside to work on blog posts, but my three month absence shows that our routine doesn't always get followed to a T. (Does anything get done totally with kids, though?). 

Thursday: On Thursday I sweep and mop the tile areas of the house and vacuum the whole house. I end up vacuuming here and there every day (I can't imagine why...) so at least once a week I do a very thorough job. Thursday's theme is sensory play. Thatcher really loves this one. We have a whole notebook of activities that engage his senses and get him trying new things. He loves playing in oatmeal, shaving creme, with felt, anything that's new and exciting he adores. It's so fun watching him react to new things! 

Friday: On Friday during naptime I try to do one big organizing or craft project. Usually it ends up being cleaning out the fridge, working on crafts for the house or organizing the basement. It feels really great to get a big to-do out of the way! Friday is also usually the day we play with our friend Tracy and her kids, so it's a nice break to be with another adult. When we get home in the afternoon we focus on our Montessori activities. We do blocks, thread things (like pipe-cleaner through a colander), putting things into containers, sorting objects, and so on. We love these activities because they focus on letting thatcher guide his own learning environment with pre-determined stations. He goes from thing to thing and works on motor skills, critical thinking and working together to accomplish things. It's fun to see him learning and see things clicking in his brain. 

Saturday: Generally the week is so packed that Saturday is pretty free--apart from naps. We usually do things together like go to the farmer's market, the children's museum, splash pad or lunch dates. It's time to just have fun and play together. 

Looking at it all written out it looks intimidating to me now, but it's amazing the change I could see when we started getting into a good routine. We're both happier and more productive when we know what to expect each day, keep up on chores and make time to be together instead of occupying him while i catch up on housework (which happens, of course but I try to keep it minimal). I feel like being a stay at home mom is such a blessing and a responsibility that I need to really take advantage of!

That being said we do have different types of play. Usually our directed play (arts, sensory and montessori) are themed and have goals we'd like to accomplish. Usually we try to use toys and objects that aren't his over-flowing trucks, trians, balls, etc. We also have independent play, which Thatcher does every morning before his nap.This is when he grabs whatever toys he wants and does whatever he wants. I feel like it's so important to have a balance between independent play that fosters a lot of imagination and directed play that works on milestones and skills he needs to learn. 

We also read about five books a day because he's a boy obsessed, not that this mama is complaining! 

So that's generally how our week goes. Things come up of course and get switched around but we try to accomplish all of those things so that we're both busy and engaged with each other rather than phones, computers and TV all the time. We do enjoy a show every day (usually to make him last before a nap or to entertain him while mama cooks or folds laundry) and I refuse to let myself feel guilty about that. I think it's hard to say what a child needs or doesn't need in a day because every child is so different. 

For those of you who have messaged me, please let me know if you  have any other questions! 

<3

Thatcher's First Birthday!

It's been about a week since Thatcher turned one, and I think I'm over the blubbering "I can't believe my babe is a year old!" thing. Most of the time. 

Luckily he started walking full force a couple of days before his birthday, so it gave us something to be so excited about that I didn't think as much about him growing up. Plus, there was that whole planning and prepping for his party thing. 

It was such an exciting weekend! My mom flew in Thursday and Thatcher was so excited to have his Gam Gam around! 

For Thatcher's birthday party we decided to do a Where The Wild Things Are party. It was the first book that Thatcher paid attention to and giggled through, so we thought it would be fun. It was so fun making decorations and getting everything ready for the party. I was very very lucky that Jeff went along with all of my planning even though he thought it was a bit overboard. He's the greatest! Thatcher had such a blast playing with all of his friends and family and getting so so spoiled, of course. We have the greatest friends and family! 

The BEST surprise though came at the party. My uncle Mike texted my mom and asked where we were because he wanted to send us something. This made zero sense but she texted him the address back, and then a few minutes later my cousins Kim and Leslie walk in the door. I was so shocked! They flew all the way from Missouri to come see me and meet Thatcher. I was in tears, it was so so sweet to see them! It's a surprise I'll cherish forever! 

And now, lots of pictures.:) 

Thatcher and Dada playing while we decorated. He freaked out about the balloons! 

Guestbook table. We found these fun crowns instead of party hats, and put out a picture of Thatcher from each month out. My favorite thing was that we took Thatcher's copy of Where The Wild Things Are and used it as a guestbook so he'll always have everyone's birthday wishes! 

Thatcher's cake! Our friend Tracy is too amazing and helped us bake and decorate it and the cupcakes

The Birthday Boy! 

Thatcher was adored by his lady friends all day.. he loved it.

Highchair fun! 

He wasn't too sure of the cake. I stuck his hand in it and he freaked out and refused to eat it the whole day!  

We're so grateful to all of our sweet family and friends who came out to celebrate. Bring on the toddler-hood!